Understanding Fear: A Healing Perspective

Hi there, Dr. Amigues here. If you’re reading this, you might be facing something big—maybe a new diagnosis, a tough treatment decision, or just the uncertainty that comes with living with a chronic illness. If you’re feeling fear, know this: you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, both as a doctor and as a patient.

Let’s Talk About Fear (Honestly)

Fear is part of being human—especially when our health is at stake. I still remember the moment I was told I had stage IV cancer. My mind raced: What does this mean for my future? My family? My dreams? Fear showed up in a hundred ways, big and small. And while it felt overwhelming at times, I learned something important: fear, when acknowledged, can actually guide us toward healing.

Naming Fear: The First Step

You can’t just “think positive” and make fear disappear. In fact, pushing it away often gives it more power. I encourage my patients (and myself) to look at fear directly, with a bit of curiosity and a lot of compassion. Sometimes, just saying out loud—“I’m afraid”—is enough to loosen its grip. It’s not weakness; it’s honesty. And in that honesty, we find room to breathe.

There’s No ‘Right’ Way to Cope

Some people want to know every detail—statistics, studies, the latest research. Others prefer to focus on the present and not get lost in numbers. Both are valid. What matters is figuring out what feels supportive for you. Personally, I found peace in learning about new treatments, but I also needed space for hope and moments of joy. There’s no gold medal for coping “the right way”—just permission to listen to yourself.

Why You’re Not a Statistic

I see it all the time: patients searching for numbers to predict their future. Here’s the truth—statistics are old news. They don’t know you, your story, or the advances happening right now in medicine. Medicine evolves, sometimes faster than we expect. You are not a number; you are a unique individual with your own strengths, support, and possibilities. Hope is not denial—it’s recognizing that progress is always possible.

Imagining the Worst, Choosing to Live Anyway

It might sound odd, but sometimes I invite patients to name their scariest “what if.” What if things don’t go as planned? What if life changes forever? By acknowledging these fears, we often find they lose some of their power. It frees our minds to focus on what matters most—enjoying the present, connecting with loved ones, and finding meaning even in uncertainty.

What Does Healing Look Like to You?

Instead of asking, “What could go wrong?” try asking, “What would healing look like for me?” or “What would bring me joy right now?” Even in illness, there are moments—however small—filled with laughter, music, or connection. These are the moments that build resilience and remind us we’re still living, not just surviving.

A Simple Tool: Journaling

One of my favorite tools is journaling. Write down your fears—no grammar or judgment required. Sometimes, seeing your thoughts on paper makes them less overwhelming. You might even discover a next step: reaching out for support, having a tough conversation, or just taking a deep breath. Every small step is movement, and movement is empowering.

Living Fully, Even Now

Here’s what I want you to know:

Fear doesn’t have to shrink your world.

When we acknowledge our fears, they can become teachers—helping us clarify what matters, deepen our relationships, and savor the present. Illness may change your life, but it doesn’t have to define it.

My hope for you is not just to get through this, but to live fully, with meaning and purpose, even in the midst of uncertainty.

If you’re looking for support, resources, or just a community that understands, UnabridgedMD is here for you. We offer free lifetime access to our courses on Lupus and positive ANA test results for anyone who signs up with their email. And if you want to talk, you can always reach us at (303) 731-4006.

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